How Can I perform an enema with my bare hands?
Will it hurt? I'm just trying to be cost-efficient here and dont want to spend the money buying one at the store
Well, you can't give yourself an enema with just your hands, you need something to use as a syringe.
If you have a hot water bottle/syringe combo around the house you can use it.
Fill it with warm water and a teaspoon of table salt for each quart (they typically hold close to two quarts) and put the stopper in with the hose attached. Make sure you have the smaller (enema) nozzle on the hose and not the larger (douche) nozzle, unless you really want the larger one.
Hang the bag on the towel rod, put a towel on the floor to lay on, release the clamp long enough to get the air out of the hose (the air causes cramps).
Use some K-Y or Vaseline on the nozzle, lay on the towel on your left side with your left leg straight and your right leg drawn up toward your chest (Sims position) and carefully insert the nozzle in your anus.
You can control how fast the water flows with the clamp, just open it a little bit to have the water flow slowly or open it all the way to have it flow faster.
When you can't take any more, then stop the flow and take out the nozzle, hold the water as long as you can, then get on the toilet and let it all out.
Repeat as necessary.
If you don't have the hot water bottle/syringe, then the turkey baster really is a good option, just be careful with it and don't hurt yourself.
Good luck.
July 29th, 2006 at 2:39 pm
Stick your hands in and clap.
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July 29th, 2006 at 2:39 pm
garden hose
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July 29th, 2006 at 2:39 pm
Use a Super Soaker…
A garden hose might work too.
But the Super Soaker would definitely be funnier.
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July 29th, 2006 at 2:40 pm
Sounds gross but get a turkey baster that you don't plan on using for food any longer and some nice warm water. Insert and gently squeeze bulb. Just be careful, don't rush things…
Upon second thought, why don't you try eating some prunes first…
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July 29th, 2006 at 2:42 pm
It's not so much the hands that will be a problem its the position you have to get in to get the enema fluid IN and doing its work. It doesnt hurt, its a small nozzle kinda thing, but then you squeeze the bottle to fill your well, "area" and you can control how muich or how little you take at a time. And the old hot water bottle enemas are not recommended, because there is no control at all, it goes in fairly quickly with an unconotrolled bag. Spend the $4.00 and get the kit at the store.
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July 29th, 2006 at 3:02 pm
Given these conditions, I have my doubts about the results. But, you might try throwing water ballons.?!
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July 29th, 2006 at 3:56 pm
I'm not sure about the enema, but your questions are hilarious.
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July 29th, 2006 at 10:08 pm
Well, you can't give yourself an enema with just your hands, you need something to use as a syringe.
If you have a hot water bottle/syringe combo around the house you can use it.
Fill it with warm water and a teaspoon of table salt for each quart (they typically hold close to two quarts) and put the stopper in with the hose attached. Make sure you have the smaller (enema) nozzle on the hose and not the larger (douche) nozzle, unless you really want the larger one.
Hang the bag on the towel rod, put a towel on the floor to lay on, release the clamp long enough to get the air out of the hose (the air causes cramps).
Use some K-Y or Vaseline on the nozzle, lay on the towel on your left side with your left leg straight and your right leg drawn up toward your chest (Sims position) and carefully insert the nozzle in your anus.
You can control how fast the water flows with the clamp, just open it a little bit to have the water flow slowly or open it all the way to have it flow faster.
When you can't take any more, then stop the flow and take out the nozzle, hold the water as long as you can, then get on the toilet and let it all out.
Repeat as necessary.
If you don't have the hot water bottle/syringe, then the turkey baster really is a good option, just be careful with it and don't hurt yourself.
Good luck.
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July 30th, 2006 at 1:53 pm
Use your hands and start grabbing for gold nuggets.
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July 31st, 2006 at 12:22 am
Oh look, a cornfunkel wannabe. Your questions aren't half as funny as hers, though.
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